Chapter Seven: Today

Today I'm just so out of control. I'm really lost. I don't know what to do. I'm so freaked up. I wish I was dead. I wish a lot of things.... I wish I could turn back time. I wish I'd be invisible. I wished I'd be torn apart. I wish I was in cold grave^^^ But this flesh is breathing, not anyone's fault, so as I sit here infront of my PC, listening to Emenem's "Love the way you lie" Part-2, I can't help but listen with a wailing heart... This song is made for me... And I'm under it's spell^^^

On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.
And this thing turned out so evil, I don’t know why I’m still surprised.
Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take death to new extremes.
But you’ll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind.

What am I doing in this world? I don't know. I don't know anything. All I know is that I just can't go on this way. I'm too hurt.... can't you see me... can't you see the tears... How can you not see... How can you not see I'm dying^^^ I'm dying... I am...

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.

It's so hard that we have to move on no matter what. Why is this life so harsh... Or why am I so harsh? Why am I like this... all I want is to be normal... and be happy.... Just the way I am... All I have is this f@$kin song to soothe me... I hate it when it hurts.... I love it when it hurts.... confused %#@$@#%$^%$

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
Ohhh, I love the way you lie.

So where do I go from here? How am I suppose to survive? I'm all alone... I'm so alone... scared and frightened^^ so lost^ and I know it's all my fault^